Brief notes on things you shouldn’t be aware of

I know you have devoted a large amount of energy trying to bridle your own existence. That is such an invaluable effort. You thought all life’s idiosyncrasies could be managed, as if they were easy going pieces on the board. However, the table can suddenly be turned on you. When that happens, the hit will push you away from your frail attempt to control the game. Suddenly , now you see yourself stumbling over your own shadow, from which pours a grinding silence that opens an unfathomable abyss  in front of you. And you stand there, looking at the depths, astonished, motionless, while you get your mind trespassed by the void that slowly surrounds your trembling body. The resounding emptiness makes you dizzy and breathless. You try to resist the darkness that took you over, while you desperately attempt to fight against the growing fear that makes you shiver.

Consternation climbs the abyss, coming to claim your sanity (or maybe what’s left of it), and you’re willing to pay the price for persisting; after all, you’re a warrior. Or at least you pose as one, pretending you have light enough to fill the blank, a fading star leisurely getting out of scene. You seek to shred your emotional lability and the devastation it brings with it, but you know that your endeavor is made to fail: it’s you who shall be wrecked, every inch of your skin unraveled and tear into pieces. You are running out of time.

Notice, it’s not an easy task to win a fight against your personal demons, especially when they push you to your most intricate limits. The Sword of Damocles is upon your head: one tiny mistake and your world is coming to an end, both the inner and the external ones. Is there a real difference between them? Do you believe you could recognize this imaginary line if it’d really exist? I know you’ve been busy running in circles, struggling with time, spinning your body over your soul, and looking for open doors (and getting them shut in your face). We both acknowledge that all this straining is unfailingly in vain. We both also know where this is gonna end, and I wonder: should we be aware of it?